Almost Bought A Goldfish...

[Rue]

My friend is taking the fish. I told her she could do whatever with them. I just can't deal with another tank and more fish at the moment.

I'm just going through a lot right now and I don't need my parents to be mad at me for getting another tank when I barely have time to take care of myself.

I stuck the Goldfish in with my tropical fish for the night so they have some oxygen and filtration. I don't care how bad or wrong that is, I figure it's better than keeping them in the tiny container with nothing for the night. I'll remove them in the morning, let my friend take them and then during the week, return the tank and equipment.

Now, I'm going to sleep. I'm tired and stressing out.

I thought fish keeping was suppose to be relaxing, I've been more stressed with the fish than I have with cats, dogs, birds and hamsters. Between water changes, testing the water, making sure they aren't overfed, I just don't enjoy the hobby anymore. All I ever see is the negative. I want to enjoy the pretty tank with the pretty fish and not think about how big the tank is, how much filtration and how many water changes had to be done to get the tank that perfect.

I'm going old school and if I lose the fish, I'm not going to be concerned. If it worked for so many years, then there has to be something right about it.

Well...I can add a couple of things.

First of all: For next time...your friend can say 'no' to the prize. You do NOT have to accept it.

Secondly...while comets do grow fast...a 40 gall tank...as a grow-out tank, will do for a few months...so that in itself is not a bad thing at all. You just can't expect to house 3 comets in there for a lifetime.

Thirdly...I would have left the comets in the small container for the night rather than risk stress and disease in your established tank...

And finally:

I'm stressed out with the fishkeeping too...which is why I'm down to 2 tanks - and I'm not enjoying those very much at the present either - they've soley become a chore. I find water changes are the type of work that I can't do and enjoy...while caring for the rest of the critters is just fine...so there's definately something stressful about fish tanks that might not occur with other types of animal care.

I also find there's something more hypocritcal about fish care compared to other types of animal care too...so there's also that cerebral part of it to deal with...esp. if you're an over-thinker...

If it becomes a source of stress...for whatever reason...either find a way to make it less stressful...or quit. Both are viable options.

One idea for less stress: Move your tropical fish to the 40g. Only have the one, understocked tank. Do not let your parents ever feed the fish. It should maintain itself relatively easily that way. That's my saving grace with my two remaining tanks...they're overfiltered and understocked...it really minimizes the issues you may have...

[ElizabethJKR]

My friend has the fish now. During the week I'm going to return everything. I took money that I was saving for other important stuff to buy this tank for fish that would have just be stuffed in a tank and led a miserable life until they died. I was trying to give them a somewhat better life which is what I do with all my animals. I think it's what we all want to do. I don't have a lot of free time or funds to get the biggest tanks for my fish. I can get them what they need.

I had fun with fish keeping before I found this site. I try to do the right thing and I am a bad fish keeper for it. I know a lot of you are just trying to help, but it's just making me feel worse. I'm a pretty tough person, I've been bullied and attacked for who I am, but I can't deal with people saying I'm not a good fish keeper.

So thanks for the advice, but I need to go hide and cry for a bit. Knowing that I failed three fish that I just can't save.

[Rue]

Have a good cry if it helps...and sometimes it's the perfect thing to do...

But you are not a bad fishkeeper...because you do care about your pets...so don't go there!

If you can't afford a pet...then you shouldn't have it. Trying to 'make do' with limited funds and supplies rarely leads to success or satisfaction...

But moving your existing fish to the larger tank IS a long-term solution. So before you throw in the towel...reconsider it.

[Honey Badger 1]

This hobby is relaxing, but you must be willing to do what it takes to make it so. In my opinion 90% of issues in this hobby can be traced back to poor water conditions. Things like uncycled tanks, dirty water, and wrong temperature, not enough filtration, overstocking, and putting fish in tanks too small all contribute to poor water quality. Water changes, testing, not overfeeding and researching before you buy are what make this hobby relaxing and if you are not willing to do that then maybe this hobby isn’t for you.
Nobody is attacking you; we are just giving you advice so you can become a better fish keeper. Just because someone with more knowledge than you doesn’t agree with you and tries to point you in the right direction does not mean they are attacking you and who you are, it means they are trying to help you. Crying may make you feel a bit better, but it will not solve anything. Listening to those who are trying to help, water changes, testing the water and researching the needs of your fish is what will help. What’s important in this hobby is giving your fish the best life you can and if you aren’t willing to do what it takes to do that maybe it would be best for you to give it up.
You came here trying to justify getting those fish and people here tried to tell you not to do it because you would be contributing to the abuse of more fish. You chose not to listen and now have to deal with the circumstances of your actions… and so do those fish.

[mermaidwannabe]

It sounds like your parents sometimes overfeed your fish. Do they listen to you when you try to explain things to them? If they do, you might want to explain that fish don't need to be fed a lot at one time, or even that often. Just enough for them to consume in a couple of minutes will suffice, and fasting fish for one day a week won't hurt them a bit. It ensures they'll be hungry enough to eat ALL their food at the next feeding.

Sorry if you've been bullied. If that is happening at school, adults need to take responsibility and see that it stops. Bullying is never good for anyone -- neither the person being bullied NOR the person doing it.

I can sympathize with you because when I went to school, I was picked on constantly, and none of the teachers, counselors or administrators -- including the principal or vice-principal -- seemed to care. My parents had to intervene on my behalf before anyone would even give a d---.

Try to relax, and a good cry sometimes helps. Emotional release can be healthy, which is why humans are capable of it. One much wiser than we are built that mechanism into us for a reason.

I know you're trying to do your best, and it appears you're up against some things that are overwhelming you. It's not always fun being a kid . . . Believe me, I KNOW!

In the future, I would suggest you have chat with your friend and tell her that any pets she acquires are HER responsibility, not yours. She needs to learn some boundaries.

Good luck and pleasant dreams ...

-- mermaidwannabe

[Lady Hobbs]

We are here to help out the fish. Sometimes our advice may make people sad and that is not our intention but it's to give the fish a better life. This is not a hard hobby but it does require common sense.

You have been a member here for a year now and you know what our advice always is to those who keep fish. DO NOT get fish until you have a proper home for them. Do not get fish and then wonder where you will put them after you get them. And do not get large or aggressive fish and put them in small, unsuitable tanks. We say it over and over again.

If advice is not taken, it is not your parents fault, your friends fault, the people at the fish store, or the members here trying to help.

You knew when you started this thread you had no place for these goldfish and could not keep them properly. You were advised against it but you did it anyway. I'm sorry you are now upset this did not work out for you but this is the same advise you have been given repeatedly. And each time, our advise is ignored and then you run into a problem.

Just last month we had the same discussion here that all your tanks are already overstocked and here we go again. I'm almost thinking that all those who donate their time trying to help you and are ignored that perhaps it should be us having that good cry.