Red Skelton's Recipe for the Perfect Marriage

**sandy_n** · 01-28-2009, 07:37 PM

Red Skelton 1913-1997

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .

3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburator.
I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late
for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'

**Dave66** · 01-28-2009, 07:50 PM

For reasons I can't explain because I'd get into trouble, No. 12 made me laugh.

Dave

**sandy_n** · 01-28-2009, 07:52 PM

Hmmmmmm......they make ear plugs, lol!!!

**fishlover49** · 01-28-2009, 07:52 PM

**Poofaye C.** · 01-28-2009, 08:35 PM

good share!!!

**kobusclan** · 01-29-2009, 02:41 AM

LOL....that was funny! I have been married 20yrs and I think HUMOR is the "cure all" LOL Sometimes you just have to laugh and realize that you BOTH have issues! Now...wheres the jokes about MEN~ LMAO~

**Gemini** · 01-29-2009, 03:44 AM

Hehehehehe

**Northernguy** · 01-29-2009, 04:14 AM

I can still see him on stage! That man was a truely great comedian!

Thanks Sandy! That was fun!

**mrs fishpatrick** · 01-29-2009, 11:23 AM

very good

**sandy_n** · 01-29-2009, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by kobusclan

LOL....that was funny! I have been married 20yrs and I think HUMOR is the "cure all" LOL Sometimes you just have to laugh and realize that you BOTH have issues! Now...wheres the jokes about MEN~ LMAO~

A sense of humor get's you thru anything. Laughter is truly healing. I'm a firm believer that dysfunctional means normal