Red Skelton's Recipe for the Perfect Marriage
Red Skelton 1913-1997
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas .
3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburator.
I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'
8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late
for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'
For reasons I can't explain because I'd get into trouble, No. 12 made me laugh.
When a finger points to the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.
Omnia mutantur nihil interit.
The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go
Hmmmmmm......they make ear plugs, lol!!!
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away."
LOL....that was funny! I have been married 20yrs and I think HUMOR is the "cure all" LOL Sometimes you just have to laugh and realize that you BOTH have issues! Now...wheres the jokes about MEN~ LMAO~
I can still see him on stage! That man was a truely great comedian!
Thanks Sandy! That was fun!
Ray Your Freindly Neighborhood,Fully Mod-ified, Self-appointed Pic Hound!! Need pics!!!
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The Fabulous AC ebook Please read>http://www.aquaticcommunity.com/ebook.html
juwel rio 180
, 6 odessa barbs, 9 neon tetra, 3 keyhole cichlids, apistogramma cacatuoides, countless shrimp, apple snails
10G (dozens of) blue pearl shrimp
70L with jewel cichlid female
7G tank 12 CRS (more like 60 at this stage)
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together ,and your body starts falling apart.
A sense of humor get's you thru anything. Laughter is truly healing. I'm a firm believer that dysfunctional means normal
Originally Posted by kobusclan
You can't play nice with people who don't play by the rules!