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Results 11 to 20 of 24
  1. #11

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    A little further from sanity

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    0 Not allowed!
    Hunting and abusing are two completely different things. Hunting is very popular here, abusing animals not so much. Mandy, they need to be reported, I know it's difficult because they are family, but it still needs to be done. If nothing else you need to confront them and tell them you don't appreciate their animal cruelty and you want them to stop telling you about it, or they will be reported.
    When I go fishing I just throw sharp rocks in the water and wait for the dead fish to float to the top... Kingfisher
    Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.

    I think my fish is adjusting well to the four gallon, He's laying on his side attempting to go to sleep on the bottom of the gravel.
    Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
    Dear naps, sorry I hated you so much when I was a child... Love me

  2. #12


    0 Not allowed!
    They say that people who are cruel to animals turn into psychopaths.
    Astrofish man I am
    250 gallon super tank 97" long. 4 x Oscars + pleco and cichlids.

  3. #13


    0 Not allowed!
    That is actually a proven fact

  4. #14


    0 Not allowed!
    Empathy is not limited to the suffering of humans. I would not trust someone who could treat animals that way.
    <-- Click for journals
    "There is no right way to do the wrong thing." - KingFisher "Only bad things happen fast in this hobby" - Cliff Boo train boo train boo train boo train woohoo

  5. #15

    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Bridgeport Connecticut

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    0 Not allowed!
    In the meantime.......

    Since obviously what spews out of their mouths offends you, (I don't blame you, just seeing it typed here has my blood boiling), turn the tables. Get good at evasion and distraction, and cut them right off. There are many ways of doing it, and one is to be blunt honest. When one of these horrible stories even begins, at the first note of disgust you can say point blank:

    "You know, people go to jail for that". or, "What a humane bunch you are".

    If those tactics don't work, which it may not, be proactive. If you know a subject they don't like, prepare a list of things to "Bring up" that they will NOT want to talk about. As soon as they start, cut them off and go right into a pre-planned uncomfortable conversation. I've found this type of reverse psychology works wonders and trains those that talk about horrible things, that if they do, it might lead up to where they don't want the conversation to go.
    2 10 gallon tanks, 1 20 gallon tank, 1 Fluval Edge, 1 29 gallon tank, and one backyard pond.

  6. #16


    0 Not allowed!
    There are toxic people in the world. You can't change them.

    But maybe you need to set limits...or cut them off entirely. I wouldn't want people like this looking after my kids for any form.
    55 g Goldfish Tank - 3 Fancies, 2 Comets
    25 g Tropical Tank - Celestial Pearl Danio/Mixed

  7. Default

    0 Not allowed!
    Thanks for all the support and ideas you guys.

    These are indeed people who have more money than brains... and not much money if that tells you anything.

    They are very aware of how I feel about issues like this, which I think is one reason she chooses to throw it on me.

    I have no idea how my husband turned out to be the loving and compassionate person he is. I've heard many stories of how he was raised, and I just can't even imagine it.

    Now, our relationship isn't all bad. I don't want you to think that. They are great grandparents and are even raising all the grandkids they have except for mine. My husband was pretty much the only kid of theirs to move out and get a life. Not to mention the only one to get thing together a bit before he started popping out kids.

    I think that their main problem is that they give the kids everything they want. If that means a pet that no one will care for, then that's what they get. As far as I know, the horror stories of shooting puppies and squashing kittens no longer goes on. on If so, you can believe something would be done. It's almost like their neglect happens because they are just too stupid to understand what they are doing. The bad part is that they are mostly unwilling to learn or change. They don't see animals as feeling beings... Just things that are disposable.

    That's why, try as I might to resist, I end up taking some of the animals. I mean if I'm not going to have enough spine to report them, the poor animals deserve a chance. So there's my problems....

    I may have to start opening my mouth more often.
    130g: 4 Angelfish, 2 Roseline Sharks, 12 Conga Tetras, 5 Kuhli Loaches, 1 Otocinslus, 1 Corydora

  8. Default

    0 Not allowed!
    Quote Originally Posted by MandyK View Post
    I may have to start opening my mouth more often.
    I think you need to rephrase this to "I will".

    As hard as it sounds you are indeed enabling by taking no action.

    DECIDE - It all starts with making a decision, stating that you may do something indicates that no decision has been made to do anything.
    COMMIT - Commit to follow through with the decision you make no matter how difficult.
    SUCCEED - Success will come when the first two steps are followed.

    Please don't take this the wrong way, it is meant as encouragement. Good luck, I know dealing with situations like this when family is involved is very difficult.
    120g Mixed Reef In Progress
    120g Reef Journal
    55g Freshwater - Out of Service
    My 55g Tank Remodel Project
    72g Bowfront -Out of Service

  9. Default

    0 Not allowed!
    I'm really going to have to disagree with my taking animals enabling them.

    They did it before I was ever around, and they still would. The only difference now is that the animals I take don't just simply die.

    Now, my not calling on them could def be considered as enabling. I can see that.

    Believe me, I've thought about all the things mentioned, and I've thought hard. Please don't think that I don't suffer for it either. I guess it's all just too complicated to explain over a computer.

    At any rate, I don't want to hear about it from them every time I see them. But then perhaps they'll just end up fracturing our relationship to a point where I won't care if I ruin a relationship.
    130g: 4 Angelfish, 2 Roseline Sharks, 12 Conga Tetras, 5 Kuhli Loaches, 1 Otocinslus, 1 Corydora

  10. #20


    0 Not allowed!
    Oh boy. This is bad. And beyond disgusting. Makes me wonder how lax they were when it come to caring for their children. So many seem to think "they are just animals" and I burn up inside when someone gets a dog and just sticks it in the backyard on a chain. Or get pets when they can not afford to take it to a vet to have it "fixed" or vaccinated. No one wants to get in a family feud with in-laws but I think I'd have to tell her you will report her if you have to hear of any more abuse. I don't know what to say other than you can not fix stupid!

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