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Thread: I've had it!!

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  1. #1

    Default I've had it!!

    0 Not allowed!
    I have HAD it with my local fish club. I joined for a place to meet people in my area who share the same interests as me but all I ever end up with is a sore head from bashing it against the wall too many times.

    When I first met some of them I was shocked at how careless they all are. They don't test water, their stocking is horrendous, mixing mbuna with community fish and SA cichlids and then whinging to when their poor SA's end up with shredded fins. It is quite a common occurance for people to keep four, FOUR oscars in a 55g tank. Every tank bigger than about 2g has a common pleco in it, their tanks are obscenely overstocked with incompatible species and schooling fish not kept in schools and it's done my head in.

    Today a woman was talking about her red Jewels which live with -- get this -- a Turtle. I was horrified but all I said was, "and how are your nitrates?", to which she responded that she doesn't check them. Apparently the fish were put there as feeders but never got eaten and grew to adults so she figured it must be fine since they were living. A guy at the club then confronted me, telling me he's tired of me "hassling and criticizing" people by asking them to do more than, for example, one water change a month on their horrendously overstocked tank or asking them to check their water once in a while. Apparently I am a "fish-Jew" and a know-it-all and that not everyone has to test their water. I find it difficult to understand why the laws of the nitrate system apply to me and not some other people. And, it's not hard to come off as a know-it-all when the people you're talking to seem to know nothing. Interestingly enough, this is the same guy who was keeping 3 Black Ghost Knife fish in a 45g aquarium, to which I informed him that the tank is too small for one, let alone 3. He also keeps a Giant Gourami in a 100g aquarium.

    I get why they're annoyed, I am often correctly them or giving them advice they probably didn't actually want, but you don't see me asking for help every week because there's a disease outbreak in their tank again or yet another fish has been torn to bits because they've put incompatible fish together. I don't cut corners when it comes to my fish unlike some people, and apparently that makes me a fish-Jew. Yes I test my water regularly and do a lot more water changes than they do and I go by the book when it comes to stocking tanks and I quarantine, but at least then when something goes wrong I know it was out of my control because I've already done everything I can to ensure everything runs smoothly.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    A little further from sanity

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    0 Not allowed!
    I know how you feel. Unfortunately, you can't help people who don't want help. You CAN fix stupid, but only if stupid is willing to get fixed.
    Last edited by KingFisher; 02-25-2013 at 08:54 PM.
    When I go fishing I just place a sharp rock in the water and sit there waiting for all the dead fish to float to the top... Kingfisher
    Brutal honesty will be shown on this screen.
    I think my fish is adjusting well to the four gallon, He's laying on his side attempting to go to sleep on the bottom of the gravel.
    Tolerance is a great thing to have, so is the ability to shut up.

    I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

  3. #3


    0 Not allowed!
    Oh dear, that sounds very depressing. Does no one there keep fish correctly?

    Does your club do presentations? Can you do one on welfare and correct stocking? Is anyone there to learn how to improve their fishkeeping? I'm amazed why anyone would bother turning up.

    I feel for you
    "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." Carl Sagan
    ~ My 350 Litre Tank Journal ~

  4. #4


    0 Not allowed!
    Yikes! I've found that I can't give advice to people unless they specifically ask me, or start talking to me about a problem they are having. If I just jump in I feel pushy, and know-it-ally. Lol. I will only jump in if I see something that is just disgusting, and I feel I might save a life. In your case it seems you encountered this quite a bit.

    Sorry you had this experience. It's too bad that most of us here are so spread out that we can't have an in person meeting every once in a while. Wouldn't that be fun?
    130g: 7 Angelfish, 1 Bolivian, 12 Neon Tetras, 14 Serpae Tetras, 9 Kuhli Loaches, 1 Otocinslus, 1 Corydora ? Ghost Shrimp
    I've noticed that people HATE it when you point out how stupid they are, so now I try to do it politely.

  5. #5


    0 Not allowed!
    A "fish-Jew". Are you still a member after today?

    Usualy you only find one ignorant person in a group, but a whole room full?

    Good on you for standing your ground.
    Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
    Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.
    -Vince Lombardi

    “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” ― John Wooden
    Sandy Hook Elementary......Lest We Forget

  6. #6


    0 Not allowed!
    I can somewhat relate to your experience

    I went to one meeting of a local aquarium society in a city I used to live in and actually felt like I lost a few IQ points when I left.

    Just don't let that get to you. After all, this should not effect what you personally get out of the hobby
    If you take your time to do the research FIRST, you can successfully set-up and keep ANY type of aquarium with ease.
    "Not using a quarantine tank is like playing Russian roulette. Nobody wins the game, some people just get to play longer than others." - Anthony Calfo
    Fishless Cycle Cycling with Fish Marine Aquarium Info [URL=""]

  7. #7


    0 Not allowed!
    Look at the bright side, we're all here, and you can talk to us from the comfort of your own home in your pajamas.
    10 gallon live planted aquarium with 6 neons
    90 gallon fw community in progress

  8. #8


    0 Not allowed!
    And at least she didn't you "the fish Nazi" LOL .
    Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
    Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.
    -Vince Lombardi

    “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” ― John Wooden
    Sandy Hook Elementary......Lest We Forget

  9. #9


    0 Not allowed!
    Haha, I guess in a way AC is a fish club, an International one! I'd love to visit all your tanks. :)

    I found Fish-Jew quite funny actually. Yeah I'm still a member, I get really good deals when people are selling fish and what not and there are a few good members -- unfortunately the "good" members are the ones who rarely involve themselves in the affairs of the rest if the group. I guess now I see why! I have made some really good friends. Most of the people in the group are just inexperienced but mean well, they just don't know any better. And then they get taught bad habits by those who THINK they know it all but really are completely ignorant lazy fishkeepers who cut corners, and give them terrible advice. Those are the ones I hate. That's when the problems begin, when I disagree with the advice they give newbies and it turns into an argument. Sometimes it's a race to get to the newbies first before they do. For example, one guy was asking for advice on how to stock his new 8L tank. They suggested a (singular) cory or dwarf chain loach, a school of neons and a betta or some livebearers. In an 8g tank!! Ugh. It's easy to see how well-meaning newbies are mislead and end up bad fishkeepers themselves. I try to get people to join AC, and I've started linking newbies to the ebook. I've also suggested that they use AqAqvisor to help with their stocking -- yes I know it's not ideal and doesn't really apply to expert fishkeepers, but the good thing about AqAdvisor is that it will always understock and shows warnings when fish are incompatible so it's a good tool for beginners.

    Anyway... end of rant. I'll hang in there. I have a few people that back me up, it's just hard to receive criticism when you're trying to help. Maybe I'll keep my mouth shut in future but I've never been good at that. If I can make 1 person learn and then they can teach someone else, it'll all be worth it.

    Thanks for the support guys, and for letting me vent.

  10. #10


    0 Not allowed!
    That is a very good attitude! Learn what you can and share what you know.

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