My big Move

[Lindsay_D]

i moved out of my house into a new house that is my friends. her mom has agreed to let me live there as long as i help pay exspeses. i'm still working at mcdonalds and i'm getting my scheduale switched to 3pm to 10pm mon. thru thursday so i can stilll work and live in falmouth. my dad wasn't too happy buty he didn't have a choice really. other than taht the move was fine and i brought my fish with me. over the last two weeks baby and mimic died. so sad....: ( but now i get to have new fish and maybe a bigger tank.

as for school i'm doin okay. i was failing math until today when i turned in a bunch of missing work. anyways i'm all done and i'm going to graduate. i can't wait for the summer and i can't wait to buy amanda's car off her. okay well i love you all. my school blocker is down so i keep checking here daily! i miss you all and talk to me please. i've missed a lot so any updates would be awesome! thanks yall i love you!

KIMMERS! YOU ARE THE BEST!!!! : )

[xoolooxunny]

I hope you do well with the move, and i hope your fish do to! good luck with graduation, i was so sad when i did, bc there are so many people i dont get to see anymore...Anyway its nice to see you back around and hear you're alright. And as for summer, I can't wait to see what's in store! I have two weddings within a week of each other, and i need a new summer job, i was thinking something along the lines of a conservation company or environmental group.

[Severus]

Glad to hear things are working out for you! Sorry to hear about the loss of your fish though. I am also glad to see you back. Try and stick around a little we all would like to talk to you

[Incredulous_Ed]

Nice to see your doing better! sorry to hear about the fish deaths though :(
Why are you moving out?

[Lindsay_D]

Okay so heres the deal. Amanda's mom got into a motorcycle accident yesterday. She slid about 15 feet and she's just sore and scratched nothing broken. I called my dad and established some grounds about curfew and stuff when I go back home. I was not able to change the amount of chores but its okay. One thing is that he wanted me to sit down and talk to him and my step mom everyday and tell them what is going on. That is what I said no about and that was the only problem. He wanted me to come home right after school today and skip work to come home to get lectured. He told me that I was not allowed to skip work for any reason at all. So then he got all mad and said stay at Amanda's. Then I told him I can't. Then he hung up on me. My teacher Mr. LeRoy sent me to my guidance counselor Ms. Just and then she dumped me on another's lap. I sat there told the story and cried and such. She said that if I was actually put out and homeless she can get me help. Mr. Lawrence (the other shop teacher) told me to go and find a mentor. Amanda's mom is supposed to call my dad today and then I'll find out after lunch what's going on. As far as I know I'm going to work after work.

idk what is going on or how i am going to do this but i'll let you know okay guys! i love you all and i'm sorry

[Severus]

Sorry to hear about your friend's mom. It seems like you just cant catch a break Lindsay. That is ok. When i was a junior and senior in HS i hated my parents and being at home, but once i graduated everything worked out and i talk to my parents a lot more. Im sure the same will happen with you. Good luck with everything!

PS- There is no need to apologize to us. You have nothing to be sorry for

[Lindsay_D]

My dad and i have a really bad past and that is the main reason i don't want to be at home. and my step mom is an evil Bee itch and she bugs the hell out of me about everything. she gets mad over stuff and takes it out on me. its dumb

[Severus]

Yea, i can understand where you are coming from. My parents were always on my back about getting good grades and working and having all these expectations for me i felt like i was living "their" life and that really pissed me off so i tried to spend as little time at home as possible.

[Lindsay_D]

its not only that but its about being blamed for everything money issues and problems like that and always being talked about either in a good or bad way

[Severus]

Yea, that would annoy me too!

[xoolooxunny]

My dad and i have a really bad past and that is the main reason i don't want to be at home. and my step mom is an evil Bee itch and she bugs the hell out of me about everything. she gets mad over stuff and takes it out on me. its dumb

Lindsay, I had this problem for the longest time in my home (about the step mom). Then one day my oldest sister who is married put it into perspective for me. She suggested that the reason why my stepmom is such a b*tch to me was because I am from my dad's other marriage, which is her husband now, so there is some resentment towards me that i dont deserve, but get it anyway. I guess it makes sense, but it only made me lose a lot more respect for her bc she was acting so shallow.

[jeffs99dime]

i hope all works out well for you lindsay

[Lindsay_D]

After crying a millon tears and i think i lost my good friend...i'm out of my house still and living with a friend. tomorrow i'm going to talk to the guidence counsler about "the homeless plan" to see if i can still attend school but get a little help with lunch and breakfast so i can save the money for something else. amanda cried and said i hurt her worse than anyone in the world. and yeah i felt bad but my step dad said i would have a to be home everyday right after school except when i work. when i work i would have enough time to walk home but then i would have to stay there. the weekends i would spend home and i would not be able to hang out with friends. i said no i will not follow that rule and left. i have no problems following rules as long as they are decent. that was absolutly redikulous. my step mom also said that she didn't want me there at all so i said okay. and i walked to work and didn't look back. i'm going to do my best to stay in school but if i can't, i will drop out. then the army will help me get my GED. myers is away at school but ive talked to the staff sargent who just left for school and he told me hang in there. with the support of my friends i'll be able to get through this. i may be really negative right now but i need to figure this out for myself...

i'll keep you all updated thanks for everything guys. especially kimmers and severus

[Incredulous_Ed]

We all hope this turns out good.

Someone told me this once, and at the time, I thought it sounded like a fortune cookie, but I guess it might be useful in your situation. He said "In the end, everything will be okay, and if it's not okay, it's not the end."

[Lindsay_D]

very nice ed...i like that

[jweintraub]

I know a lot of guys who made the army their last resort and I'll tell you that it didn't exactly make their lives better. You have very strict rules and guidlines in the army and straight up, it's not for everyone. I know from reading your posts that you have a very strong will and that you'll make it through these tough times. Hang in there and make sure when you're talking to your dad and step mom that you are very civilized and calm, show them that you're mature enough to take care of yourself and that their rules are just making you want to rebel. Don't give up Lindsay!

[crackatinny]

Those are great words Ed.

And Lyndsey, you are at a hard time and age in any girls life, without the struggles you have had, keep your head up, and a positive outlook, I am sure you have the maturaty and sense to make the right desisions, or talk to a guidance person to help you.

If not, I will personally, swim over there and kick your butt:wink2:

Good luck gal, yr ole mate Crack.

[Lindsay_D]

crack id love to see you swim out here and try to kick my butt...that would make my day. anyways life still isn't good but i'm moving to the apartment on friday, i broke my knuckle when i punched a metal box when i got mad at my dad yesterday. i've gotten maybe 14 hours of sleep last week and plain as day i feel like suger honey ice tea....

anyways i gotta run and do some work i'm destined to graduate if i can keep my grades up for the next three weeks and manage not to kill anyone or get into trouble.

[Incredulous_Ed]

only 3 weeks! you can do it!

[Lindsay_D]

hey guys i know i can do it but i got another new little problem. im really sick. i've got something wrong but i haven't gone to the doctors yet. i was walking in to school when my legs collapsed and my body aches. i have trouble breathing and have a hard time walking for a long period of time. i fell down the stairs at work and i have the second degree burn too. i'm too afriad to ask my dad about going to the doctors' so i'm going to stick it out on my own. ill let you know whats going on later.

as of right now i have a temp of 101.1

[Severus]

I would go to the doctors if your legs are randomly giving out. That is not a good sign. And with a temperature of 101 you need to be laying in bed doing nothing. Not even sitting on the computer!! lol. So go take care of yourself and i think you should talk to your dad. Whatever is wrong with you you dont want it progressing and getting worse

[cocoa_pleco]

yeah, thats bad.

I remember a few years ago i had thousands of red splotches on my legs, and i just said screw it, i'll leave it. Turns out it was blood patches, and it wasnt even close to serious, but looked JUST like flesh eating disease. It all went away in a few months. Definitely get it checked.

Oh, and my mouth is fine now.

[Lindsay_D]

okay tmeps down to 98.9 and everything still sucks. i got into a fight with my dad last night left and then came back. i had too. the fighting still continues and everything is still bad. my brother and i got into a huge fight last night and it hurt so bad. i cried so hard i pucked. my legs don't hurt but my inner body doesn't. my friend gram stopped me from fighting anything but i feel like a part of me died when my brother did this too me. we fought about everything and i learned a lot about my mom that i didn't think. i thought my mom loved us and wanted to help us but she was really to wound up in her own shit to take care of us. she didn't want help and so she couldn't help us. my brother told me that i need to get over myself and shut up. i need to just deal with my step parents and get over it. this sucks.....i hate my life and myers isn't even here. AAAAAAAAHHHHH! please help me.

so depresed and hurt inside. i don't know what to do.

[crackatinny]

okay tmeps down to 98.9 and everything still sucks. i got into a fight with my dad last night left and then came back. i had too. the fighting still continues and everything is still bad. my brother and i got into a huge fight last night and it hurt so bad. i cried so hard i pucked. my legs don't hurt but my inner body doesn't. my friend gram stopped me from fighting anything but i feel like a part of me died when my brother did this too me. we fought about everything and i learned a lot about my mom that i didn't think. i thought my mom loved us and wanted to help us but she was really to wound up in her own shit to take care of us. she didn't want help and so she couldn't help us. my brother told me that i need to get over myself and shut up. i need to just deal with my step parents and get over it. this sucks.....i hate my life and myers isn't even here. AAAAAAAAHHHHH! please help me.

so depresed and hurt inside. i don't know what to do.

You really need to see a counceler at school and get them to put you onto someone to help you, your friends on here will always listen, but you need more than some people online to listen to you.

Hang in there, your at an awkward time in anyones life, without the added hassles.

[cocoa_pleco]

ouch. yeah, just hang in there


Dont do something like someone i know did. In grade 10, he turned 16 in February. and you have to be 16 to drop out of school in canada. He actually quit school to work at mcdonalds full time. I dont know why he did something so stupid. I absolutely hate school too, and considered that, but im just gonna pass highschool barely, get 1 year of criminal tech, and me and my auratus are gonna be cops

[Lindsay_D]

The guidence counslar in the school has it in for me. i've complained to her about these things and she went and told my dad everything. I'm going to try some outside of school help but still stay in something were it won't bother with my army stuff.

[*Sarah*]

Wow Lindsay, it's not easy being in your position. Believe me, I know.

When I was 16 my alcoholic mom kicked my sister and I both out. Thankfully I had a friend that I could stay with while I figured stuff out. In the end I did graduate high school...with honors at that, and yeah, I had to grow up pretty fast. I don't know what kind of help you have where you are, but in my area I could get student welfare. It wasn't much, but it did help. I got married, now I have 2 kids, a house, not much money, but I do have a life. It will get better, no matter how hard and stressful it is now, in 10 years you will look back and be amazed at how far you made it given the hand you've been dealt. I know it's not easy, and people's advice seems like it doesn't apply to you, or that they are full of it, lol, but really, life gets better! It won't be easy, but if you stay true to yourself, and DON'T compromise your morals, you'll be ok.

[Lindsay_D]

thanks sarah...

hey guys yesterday i gave blood!

[DemonShark]

Hey Lindsay! I didn't hear from you in a while! I see your life is kinda sucky right now... Well it'll get better. Keep working hard and don't care what other people say. YOU ARE SUPEROIR TO ANYONE IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT!

[Incredulous_Ed]

Hang in there! Remember to not dwell on the bad things that have happened in the passed, otherwise you will be depressed and angry. You have to live in the present and realize that you can't change the past. Try to learn as much as you can from every situation, and then move on. You can do it! Hope this helps...

[Lindsay_D]

thanx everybody

[kimmers318]

Okay girl, I know all of this sucks, but you do need to see a few things from another perspective, which is the one I have after dealing with my teen heathen niece. As an adult in the house, I have the right to make ANY AND ALL rules for the minors, whether they like them or not. If you don't wish to abide by my rules, punishment will follow. You have a worse situation with your Dad, Stepmom and Brother all coming at you from different directions, but one thing you have to remember is that until you are 18 they are legally responsible for you and have the right to expect you to follow their rules and respect their household. You might be able to catch more flies with honey than vinegar so to speak in this case by refusing to allow your temper to get the best of you in these arguments and proving to your parents that you want to approach everything in a mature manner. I don't understand why sitting and talking to dad and stepmom on a daily basis to keep them updated on what is going on with your life is something you refuse to do. They may be feeling that they don't know who you are anymore, who your friends are and what you are doing, which will naturally make them think the worst. And then when you refuse to let them know anything they have to believe that it may be so horrible that you know if they know you will end up in trouble. I commend you for holding down a job thru all of this, so it may work out better to calmly explain to Dad that you have to work Mon-Thurs, but are willing to put aside time right after school to sit and talk to them on Friday, or Saturday morning. Showing them that you are not going to argue with every point they try to make, but are willing to compromise and give valid reasons for the necessity for the compromise is much more mature than copping an attitude and refusing to talk. I can almost picture the expressions and body language that is going along with the conversations, the tense shoulders, the eye rolling, which of course leads to the adult getting frustrated yet again, and probably raised voices, you getting defensive and yelling something to the effect that "all you ever do is yell at me" "you don't care" "you just want to make my life worse" "you hate me", and the more negative you get, the angrier they get and it keeps escalating. Am I close? I know it sucks at this age to have to try to understand where your parents are coming from, and they of course make NO sense, but you will get nowhere by refusing to cooperate......even when the things they want seem beyond reason. As parents, we do sometimes want way too much from our kids, and with all of the problems you guys have had for years, they are not going to just accept your word that things will change. It will take actions on your part to prove it.....even if most of the time what they want is not right. Make time to talk to your dad, and have ammunition ready to show the GOOD about you. Remind him of the attempt you are making with your school work, how you are working at a job to have your own money, not just expecting them to hand it to you, talk to Dad about the fact that you are thinking about the military to get an education and real world experience etc. Point out your positives girl instead of dwelling on their negatives. No, it won't be easy, but you are caught between the proverbial rock and hard place. You are not old enough to be on your own, your father is still legally responsible for you and unfortunately, he also has the right to lay down rules whether they are right or wrong. And for even worse news....as the adults who pay for that house, even when you turn 18, they still have a right to make the rules for ANYONE who wishes to live in THEIR house. So, although, 18 may seem like the magic number, it really isn't unless you are ready and able to get your own place and pay your own way. See, as an adult, and as someone who has friends with older teen and adult children, I can see it from another angle.....I make the rules in my home, whether you like it or not. As my minor children, you have to follow those rules, once you become adults, yes the rules may change, but I will still have rules that I will expect to be followed in my home. And the rules for my children extend to the children I babysit also, some of them don't like it (like when they have to eat all of their dinner or no snacks:14: ), but they know that is the way it is, like it or not. I have not yet had a kid who doesn't want to come here, so I must not be too bad.
I hope this makes some kind of sense to you, and gets you thinking a little. It may even be better for you to sit down and write a letter to your dad, sometimes it is easier to put into words your thoughts and feelings without being sidetracked with the conversation going both ways.
And please don't think I am attacking you....just the opposite, I am hoping to get you to be able to understand where your parents are coming from and giving you tips on how to best deal with it. It sucks, kiddo, but you basically have no rights, your parents have 'em all. See, when my heathen niece informed me that I had no right to read her private emails (her myspace account was beyond belief!)....guess what....whose computer is it? Her answer was the kids', yes, true, but since the kids did not buy it, we allow them to use it, technically it is MINE. Who pays for the internet connections?.....certainly not the children....thus, it is my computer, in my home, using my internet connnection....hmmmmm....I had all the rights, she had NONE! So, guess what, she wasn't allowed to use the computer or internet connection anymore.....there is no law that states I have to provide computers and internet to my children. I must provide food, clothing, and shelter, anything else is a privilege. Right now, you have very few rights, your parents hold all the cards. Your best bet is to learn how to play their game, be willing to follow their rules no matter how ridiculous they are and respect them even when they don't respect you. Kill them with good behavior and kindness because you are just stressing yourself out by constantly battling with them and causing yourself so much grief. Has it gotten you anything but heartache?
Now, I am not sure I understand why you are not staying with your friend and her mother anylonger. The accident didn't sound too bad like she wouldn't be able to physically have you around (c'mon, you are a teen, not real hard to care for!) and I really missed why your friend is mad at you. What happened there?
Keep your head up girl......you can get thru this......graduate and work at finding a job that you can support yourself on so that you can get on your own. Maybe years down the road you will make peace with your parents, it does happen.

[crackatinny]

You certainly have a way with words kimmers:thumb:

We also took in my nephew after my brothers death, and though it may not look like it to the child, this can be a very stressfull and hard time on the caregivers as well as the child.

[cocoa_pleco]

great wording kimmers!:thumb:

[kimmers318]

Thanks everyone......Lindsay and I have been talking in and out of the forums for awhile now. I hate to see someone have such a hard time in life but I can also see the adult point of view here. She is not going to win fighting with the parents, they have the upper hand like it or not. I had the opposite with my parents, I had always been a pretty good kid, did not hesitate to talk to my parents too much and by the time I was almost 18 my parents allowed me to pretty much do what I wanted (within reason) as long as they knew where I was and what I was doing. They felt they had raised me well (which they did) and that I made fairly good choices, I was holding down a full time 2nd shift job, keeping straight A's at school, had pulled away from lifetime friends who got into drugs and was honest about the situation with my boyfriend and made the mature decision to not only protect myself against pregnancy, but to be honest with my parents about that decision when the Q came up. Oh, don't get me wrong, I screwed up alot in my teens, but I learned lessons and was willing to sit and talk to my parents when need be.....usually at THEIR request (order). Since I didn't get along too well with my mom, it was usually an issue of speaking with both parents at once because Dad was more willing to give me the benefit of the doubt rather than just accuse as Mom did. I was not allowed out past 9pm til I was 16 guys!!!! The tough rules sucked, but I had no choice so I followed them, that worked in my favor as I got closer and closer to adulthood.

[cocoa_pleco]

When i was young i hated the rules. My parents HATED it when i wore baggy pants. I couldnt find the problem, because its not their problem, and not affecting them. They also hated rap music, and i really liked it, so i found myself always with a mp3 player secretly because if i threw it on the stereo, i'd get :14:

[kimmers318]

See, as a parent, I hate the rap also. We have compromised around here though and if it is played on certain stations or allowed on kids aol then I allow it, but I still monitor it because my little girl is not going to grow up singing bad lyrics.

[Incredulous_Ed]

Alot of rap is pretty bad, but there is some good ones.

[Lindsay_D]

guys things went from bad to worse. i lost the $200 i needed for the down payment for the apartment. it was stolen by someone at my work a customer. i'm so mad! the only thing i'm worried about is my recruiter finding out whats been going on. he'll be pissed. but i'm okay right now. i'm still feeling like crap but i haven't had much knee problems. my school blocked my email so soon after i move into the apartment i will email you guys back. sorry i gotta go give a presentation on Koi. I love you all bye!

[Lindsay_D]

Hey Kimmers and everybody too,

I read kimmers’ post after I wrote mine. I believe the last time I left you all I had just moved out of Amanda’s house when her mom had her accident. Yeah I moved out and then Amanda was mad at me thinking that I ditched her and that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I moved in with another friend whose mom told me to go home too. My manager Mark saved my life by telling me I could move to an apartment. Kate the other friend told me that she was having problems with her mom and she is 19 so she said that we should move in together. I calmed down and talked to my dad without yelling or screaming and I told him about the apartment. My step mom was present which made me feel really weird but at the end of the discussion my dad even said that I should move out. I’ve been staying at my house for the last two weeks not saying a word to my brothers or my parents. My dad will sometimes get angry over something else and yells at me and blames me for something I had no control over. My little brothers are not allowed to talk to me but then when my parents aren’t around they come over to me and ask me why I have to leave and “do you not love us anymore, you never play with us”. It hurts so bad to just have to sit there and listen to it all not being able to comfort or play with them. They are growing up and I can’t even be involved. The wallet thing is really upsetting but I’ll get over it.

To answer your questions:

1. At first I had a problem coming home and telling my dad about my day because he firstly doesn’t understand and secondly he uses the information against me when we get into arguments. I would tell him why me and an old boyfriend broke up and then he would use it in an argument saying that I can’t keep a guy because I didn’t put too much into it such as sex and personal things. He says that I ignore my responsibilities and I’m a bad person and stuff like that.
2. I understand where you’re coming from and I know that you are only telling me for my best interest. You are right entirely but even my dad said that it would be best if I moved out. Idk what else to say



Thanks to everybody! I’m not exactly sure whats going on but now I’ve got to do my presentation now. I thought I had to do it earlier. BYE!


P.S. i have a boyfriend his name is rob he is 17 and my prom date! oh BTW kimmers i did something bad but when i can access my email i'll tell you about it or i can just pm you about it

[AquaQueen]

Lindsay,
You poor thing What a tough time to be going through...I will keep you in my prayers seems you need some. Good Luck with everything honey. I know everyone has pretty much said this but you keep your head up and keep on walking past all the BS and things will get better for you, not perfect, but at least a bit better then what life is handing you right now. You are a very smart girl from what I have seen of you on here and you will come through this smarter and stronger then before!!

You should seriously take a lot...NO all of what Kim said and suck it up like a sponge...as a young mother, older sister of two teenage girls and two boys, and the oldest girl out of seven children I have had my share of problems to deal with of my own and from my younger siblings and have had many many "Talks/Fights" with the parents, Ungodly "RULES"...the worst one(IMO) was because I was a girl, I had to be in the house before 7:30pm until I was 16 YO, while my younger 13 YO brother could stay out until 9pm..I thought my Mom was "off her rocker" what I called crazy there were more ridiculous ones like I had to bring one of my siblings with me when I went to a friends house so I didn't do "Bad Things" with boys. I also played the I'm moving out game and went back and forth from Mass. to Arizona, moved in with a friend ruined our friendship. I have one of the worst Step Monsters in the world (she did unspeakable things to myself and younger siblings that I left behind to deal with when I should have stayed and helped them) but as a rebellious teen I didn't think of anyone but myself and My God I wish I had someone like Kimmer around to give me that exact advice she just gave you because that would have made my life so much easier. Seriously!

I hope you dint mind kimmer but I would like to copy your post and share it with my 17yr old sister that is having a tough time with school and my mom and step dad. She is at the point where she is feeling really bad about herself and wants to hurt herself because "no one loves her" I tried talking to her but she thinks I am trying to tell her what to do she is not taking it as advice. I think you have a wonderful way with words and I think she may just take to them...if not it is worth a shot to try...if you don't mind? I wish you were my Mommy...lol I think you are really on point with the things you think of to say to everyone on here and very honest...I believe the best kind of proof that someone is a true friend and real to themselves and everyone they know if when someone will tell you the truth weather it is going to hurt you or not... Thank you for being YOU!! I wish there were a lot more people like you out there in the world!!

[kimmers318]

Bonnie, that was one of the nicest things someone could say to me....esp right now with the situation with my niece/mom/me.
By all means if you think any of it will help, feel free to use it. I had really thought I was making head way with my niece when we had her and was totally against allowing her to see her mother for the birthday weekend, but I had no choice. Even with the child being "removed" from the home (finally), drug paraphanalia charges, positive drug test on the child, and my sister admitting to the authorities that she is using crack, she STILL has FULL custody of my niece!
For those of you that may not be familiar with the past history here...my sister started doing crack, which of course led to her stealing, forgery, losing both jobs etc. My Mom was allowing her (then) 13 yr old daughter to stay with her, and eventually my husband and I took her in to our home. We provided Christmas for the child, did all we could to make her feel like part of the family and then found out that her behavior included drugs, sex, sex games and invitations to "boys" from other larger cities for visits. With the whole sexual predator issue you never really know who you are meeting online. I confronted her with the proof, had a meeting with her parents and her and proceeded to punish her for her behavior. It took 3 LONG weeks of serious punishment before I started to see some change in her whole attitude, and then it was her birthday weekend. I made her 2 bday cakes, 1 to take with her to her fathers and brothers celebration so she wouldn't be left out, 1 to have waiting for her when she came home to us, just like with our kids.....your choice for dinner, cake and family celebration. Well, after 4 hours with her mother she and her mother decided that she wasn't coming back here. In the month that followed child services FINALLY got involved and that is when the child tested positive for cocaine. We took the child for a long weekend while my mother and stepfather went to Vegas and it was nothing but chaos and trouble. She was leaving without telling us, taking off in cars, lying etc. The final straw was her getting suspended from the school bus yet again, of course she did nothing wrong! After that I find out that she was telling my 11 yr old daughter about her sexual exploits with the current boyfriend and I finally had to tell my mother that my niece can no longer stay here for overnighters, weekends etc. I love my niece dearly, but with the situation where her mother still has custody and control, my mother constantly butting in and fighting with me every step of the way, I just couldn't do it anymore. Now, my mother is not speaking to me. She can't understand how I can turn my back on her favorite granddaughter, and of all things, ruin her life because she now has a kid and she likes to take several vacations a year, and I won't be her babysitter. Somehow in my mothers distorted pea brain, this child, who the county WON'T remove from her mother's custody (God knows why), should be my responsibility when she wants to do adult things, but I should have NO control over what she does when she is in my home. Everytime the child is told no, or gets into trouble she calls my mother and then my mother calls me and yells at me for being so mean. So, see, I have experienced a little of what other parents have to go thru when it comes to dealing with problem teens and can see both sides of the issue.

[AquaQueen]

You are very welcome Kimmer, I am so sorry to hear about all of that I did not know the whole situation with your niece. Sounds like there is a need for some tough love there...If that don't work it may take her falling flat on her butt to realize all she has missed out on because of her rebellious behavior. Don't feel bad, from where I see things you have done all you can to help her from the crappy hand she has been dealt and she refused it! Even with your Mother, she too will realize your niece is out of control and you were only trying to stop it before she hurt herself and got into some trouble(getting pregnant, a disease, hooked on some serious drugs, etc.). All you can do is make sure your kids are nothing like her. In time your Mother will come around. This will be all behind you and hopefully sooner then later your niece will be focused on school and not boys and such. You keep being the honest caring person you are..someday it will pay off for you. :luxlove:

[kimmers318]

For some distorted reason Mom won't believe any bad about Brandi. She was actually telling people the drug test was negative! She screamed at me in front of my children that Brandi is her favorite grandchild and she will do whatever she can to make it up to her that she has a drug addict mother! My mother grew up with an alcoholic mother who was addicted to prescription drugs so she has this warped sense of saving Brandi. What she can't seem to understand is that Brandi NEEDS the tough love and disclipline...she has been left to her own devices for years as her mother sat at the bar night after night and all weekend. Right now my mother isn't speaking to me but that is par for the course with me. I will give it some time and then try to take Brandi out to lunch so that she understands that Aunt Kim doesn't hate (as I am sure my mother has told her) but that I won't have that kind of behavior around my girls. She was told when she moved in I wouldn't tolerate it, and after finding out it was worse than we thought, we still allowed her to stay and explained to her that the choice was hers as to how she was going to behave. If she chose to keep up the sneaking and lying she wouldn't be staying here, and that is what happened. Grandma lets her run and do whatever she wants so she feels she is entitled to it. Not in my home!