PDA

View Full Version : I'm back for a couple of days


kimmers318
02-23-2007, 11:18 AM
Those of you that have been watching my blog for the salinity vs biofilter logging are aware that my father went into the hospital last Friday night.
The cancer had spread to his liver and spleen, he fell at home on Thursday and ruptured something that caused an internal bleed, which by Friday got very painful for him.
Due to the spread of his cancer, the fact that although they were able to stabilize him he would not be able to live outside of being fully hospitalized, he came home on hospice care Tuesday night. Without going into too many details, he also had kidney failure and was doing dialysis, the cancer was causing complications with his dialysis and his heart condition and it became time for Dad to choose to stop the dialysis and allow nature to take it's course.
Since he was very upset about going to hospice when he was alert enough to talk I offered to have him transported home to his house and I would stay with him 24/7 until he was gone. The only stipulation was he would have to have the kids there, his grandchildren. He was very happy with that solution and that is what we did. I don't think he even realized until I offered that he could do this comfortably at home rather than in an institution.
He was brought home Tuesday night by ambulance, by Wednesday afternoon he was more out of it than in it mentally and started slipping away. He passed away Thursday morning right after my sister dropped off her kids for me to babysit.....literally. We spent a few minutes with him when she got there, then she spent a few minutes with him alone while I got the kids situated and his medicine ready. She left, I went in to give him his medication and Dad was gone. I believe he had slipped into a coma during the night since I couldn't wake him at all and had to drip his medication into his mouth slowly and allow it to absorb since he wasn't swallowing, and after one last visit from my sister and I he just simply stopped breathing.
As much as it hurts to lose my father, I know that he is no longer in pain, or so weak that he can't take care of himself which is a good thing. We fought cancer and won over it for 2 1/2 years when they told us 12-15months max. When they found the tumors in his brain last June they told us 3-6 months. We fought a hard fight, we won more often than not, and we had loads of fun with my father in the last couple of years. He and I were always doing things with my kids (which always included my sisters' kids since I babysit for her) he got to see his first male grandchild last October, and life was as good as we could make it. I am glad the end came quickly for him because he would not have wanted to be an invalid. Up until he went in to the hospital Friday night he was still living alone and driving himself wherever he wanted to go.
REST IN PEACE DAD! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

Lady Hobbs
02-23-2007, 11:58 AM
Kimmers, I am so sorry to read this about your father. Cancer is such a horrible, suffering disease.

Your dad went peacefully and quietly in his own home. Please let that be of comfort to you. It sounds as he was just waiting to leave the hospital so he could die where he wanted to.

I send my comfort to you and your family.

kimmers318
02-23-2007, 12:18 PM
Thank you so much Hobbs, holding on to the fact that he did go peacefully in his own home is what is keeping me going right now. That and the fact that even though we had a preplanned funeral there are still hundreds of details to handle.

Lady Hobbs
02-23-2007, 12:45 PM
My brother died of prostrate cancer last year (4 months prior to my mother dying) and I know how many details are left to the end. Almost makes you wonder what all the pre-planning was all about.

My brother suffered for 5 years with cancer but he wanted to die at home as your father did and he had Hospice for several weeks. They are so great and handle every single decision. Also allow family members to get out of the house for their own well being. I believe they alone saved my sister-in-law's sanity as she took care of him alone for so long before Hospice.

My brother had the most awesome funeral I ever attended. He loved his motorcycle and the funeral home allowed his motorcycle to sit inside next to the casket and his gloves, leathers and helmet to be placed right on the casket. Pictures of him from when he was a baby to grown up where on a film strip banner that was able to be seen thru-out the entire room.

He was also a race car driver and winning flags and trophies were about the room. I'm telling you, he would have loved it. More funeral homes need to touch on the personal side of people. It certainly makes telling them goodbye easier.

crackatinny
02-23-2007, 01:35 PM
Sorry to read that Kimmers, as much as it does not help you, I would like to send my best wishes to you and your family. I lost my Dad to cancer 2 years ago, and it is a very sad thing to see happen, when I get this shave done, though it is for leukemia, it is still a form of cancer, so as well as thinking of Dad and my motherinlaw at the time, I will be thinking of your father to.

From the posts I have read of yours, you seem to be a remarkable person, with a heart of gold, I hope you find a way to keep your chin up and be brave through this hard time, a lot of people across the globe will be thinking of you.

*Sarah*
02-23-2007, 01:47 PM
I'm so incredibly sorry for the loss of your father. I hope you find comfort in knowing you did all you could for him. He sounds like a wonderful man, who loved his family, and may the memory of his life always warm your heart.

nick820
02-23-2007, 02:36 PM
You have my sincere condolences for you and your family..

kimmers318
02-23-2007, 03:17 PM
Thanks so much everyone for all of your kind words.

Unfortunately we can't have Dad's motorcycle at the funeral, but the next best thing is that the Legion Riders will be the pallbearers in their full colors. And his services will be done by the Riders and the SAL (sons of legionnaires) because that is who Dad was. Although there were family members who could have and would have been pallbearers.....Dad was a rider first and foremost, and the Riders did a fundraiser when Dad was first diagnosed with the cancer and raised $9000 to help with medical expenses and to be able to pay for his funeral. These people are remarkable and have been there for me every step of the way, it is fitting that they will carry Dad to his final resting place.