Chuck Norrisisms!

[Tooch]

I figured I would start this to brighten everyones day up in the morning! I'll post a new one every morning for you to enjoy! Feel free to add your own!

[Tooch]

Bushism: After all, Europe is America's closest ally.
--George W. Bush
Mainz, Germany
02/23/2005




Norrisism: Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

[TowBoater]

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands, now there just the Islands...

Who would win in a fight, superman or batman? CHUCK NORRIS

Whats the best thing about waking up in the morning? Knowing chuck norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris doesn't get grass stains, grass gets chuck stains.

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, he pushes the earth down.

Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer, to bad he never cries.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

This is what I could think of off the top of my head, we always do chuck norris jokes at school.

[YaYgoldFish]

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

[blu]

-Chuck Norris doesnt mow his law..he stands outside and dares it to grow

-What goes through Chuck Norris' victims minds before they die?His shoe

-There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard..only another fist

-Chuck Norris died ten years ago but the grim reaper refuses to tell him for fear of the roundhouse kick.(not that chuck norris could really die..everyone knows he is immortal)

thats all I could think of at the moment.

[Drumachine09]

I can't remember any, but here are a few I found:

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.




And one more:


Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"


Source. (http://www.duckshit.com/chuck-norris-jokes/)

[mitcore]

what is this thread i dont get it

sorry guys please explain

[Drumachine09]

Read this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_norris_jokes

[mitcore]

thank i get it now i think am i correct in saying he shows no fear and show little to no feelings

is this what this is about

[Tooch]

LOL these are just a joke about Chuck Norris being the all-around tought guy :c12: And George Bush being an idiot...


Here's mine for the day!

Chuck Norrisism: The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

Bushism: Arbolist ... Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees.
--George W. Bush

08/21/2001
as quoted in USA Today

[Incredulous_Ed]

When chuck Norris goes in the water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets chuck norris.

[Bill M.]

When Chuck Norris was in the armed forces, he never wore camoflauge. By the time the enemy spotted him, they were 2 seconds away from death.