Here's a different topic!

[NorthernBoy]

I am taking a interpersonal communication class at the local university and I have to write a paper on this topic. I am sure you can all write a 100 page paper on this if you tried so some quick examples and thoughts would be cool. Please although be respectful to both sexes when answering.

Are there self-disclosure differences between men and women? Why do you think differences may or may not exist? Are men becoming more disclosing as awareness of self-disclosure benefits increases?

[William]

Are you refering to self-disclosure towards a potentiall/existing partner/friend or towards themselves.

I am assuming the first but wanted to make sure.

[NorthernBoy]

Any or all of the above. I although will be discussing the communication behaviour between all three.

[kimmers318]

Women are much quicker to disclose personal information! For example....my hubby didn't tell me until we were entering our 3rd year of marriage that "oh by the way...I still owe the ex the balance of our divorce settlement....it is due soon, so guess where the income tax return is going" ARRGH!

[NorthernBoy]

ouch! Sorry to hear that!

[Patryck]

I think it depends on the person. I am pretty up front with folks I relate with, my brother is very closed though and keeps things close to his chest so to speak. He has never married and I am twice divorced...hmm.. maybe I should be more like him? ;)

[William]

I am convinced that you are right that it is down to the personen and that you can't make any gender statements that are true on an individuall level. I do however believe that it is possible to se differences if you look at women and men as groups. Ie one gender might be more willing to reveal information in large even thouh this might not be true for a person of that gender. ( I hope that made sense)

The differences might however lie not in the genders willingness to reveal info but rather in which info it finds important and hence chose to self-disclose. Ie women might find some info important and disclose that info which men finds unimportant and hence feel that women don't disclose information and vise versa.

Just a couple of quick thoughts in what might become an interesting topic.

kimmers318: Sorry to hear your story. I can however garantee that your example isn't typical of men. ;-)

[NorthernBoy]

Just to add some fuel to the fire...statistics prove that women are better at self disclosure in general than men. Basically the study shows that women know how to verbally communicate clearer and more often than men, although men in general have clearer non-verbal messages than females.

Comments are welcome.

[kimmers318]

Thanks William....there has been alot of "non-disclosure" on his part....which has really torn apart our marriage. We have worked thru a lot of it, and are friends, but the passion and total trust and love is long gone. It is sad to say, I know, but we have come to the agreement that as long as we can remain friendly and raise our children things will stay as they are for now. He loves me unconditionally, he understands that it is not returned and hopes that someday that can change. He is currently seeing a professional to deal with some of his "issues" and I am willing to keep things "status quo" for the time being. My kids come first in all things and when I have tried/considered leaving because of the simple fact that I deserve to be in a relationship that works 2 ways it has really torn the girls up. Add that to the fact that my father is terminal, and way old fashioned hating to see marriages break up when children are involved, I take the easy way out and don't stress anyone. There is some sympathy on my part for my husband too in the fact that he had a REALLY screwed up childhood...which may have led to alot of his issues now, someday that may be able to be fixed for him, and since he is a good provider and father, he deserves the chance to make it right. For example, he found out at 12 yrs old that his neighbor was actually his biological father, and that his stepfather, who he had THOUGHT was his father was molesting his sister.

[William]

perhaps but than again. You can prove just about anything you want with statistics as they usually say more about the goal the researchers had than the thruth.

But I feel that men and women usually are very good at self disclosure (sometimes to good) so perhaps I'm not the one to discuss there willingness to do so.