Please....

[TowBoater]

Lately I have been reading were people have been rather rude to eachother, me included and we need to change this. This is a forum for everyone to enjoy and not to get on to get yelled at. Please post with consideration for the other person and not in a rude manner, read over your post before making it public. I ask this because some of use, I am not going to state names sees it as not welcoming and rude and I see what they mean, it is. Just please be kind when posting and do not be rude, thanks.......Kuli

[Fishalicious]

I haven't come across any rude posts so far...so either I have a thick skin or I haven't read any yet...

If I have offended or been rude to anyone then I apologize - I only have the fish's best interest at heart ... feel free to tell me off if you feel I am being rude at any time :thumb:

[TowBoater]

I'm not pointing at one person or anything but I have seen a few posts from PEOPLE and there is a few and that leads to more and more, I know I got in an argument over something and we shouldn't have.

[CAF]

I know I have made mistakes and unintentionally been rude, but I have always tried to rectify my mistake as quickly as possible one I recognize the fact.

I think what is being said here is very important. Another thing to think about as well is this. Not everyone thinks and/or types the same way. We are an international family, please be considerate of everyone else's way of thinking and cultural background. To you, what may seem perfectally normal, may be an insult somewhere else.

My heartfelt apologies to anyone I may have belittled, insulted, or just made feel bad. It was not intentional.

[Ocellatus]

i think my first posts were somehow offensively. i apologize for them :11:

[cocoa_pleco]

i think my first posts were somehow offensively. i apologize for them :11:

its no problem, that thread was a ball of confusion

[MeganL3985]

I agree Kuli, good post. I think its just easy to get frustrated with things sometimes for anyone....we all have our bad days, its just a good thing to pay close attention to not taking it out on other people... I have caught myself getting a little "nippy" lately and I apologize completely to anyone I may have been rude to as well.

[tropfish]

I have seen some of that, and i totally agree. I've left other ofrums (not to be mentioned) because members were constantly rude to eachother. Its ok to have different opinions as long as you don't attack them.

Good post Kuli!

[A340]

I'm in the same boat as Fishalicious, I haven't really seen any rude posts or any that bother me.

I agree, we should be very welcoming to all members, old and new and try to help the best we can. This is however, an open discussion forum where opinions and experiences can vary greatly and one product or method may work for one individual and not another. Add to that, certain products that we are very familair with, may not be available in other parts of the world.

Having said that, it is important to be tolerable to other opinions and views while maintaining yours, not an easy task at times, but it is what makes forums a lot of fun.

One problem I have, is that reading a forum, it's very hard to tell the emotion or tone of the poster at the time of writing, which I've seen in other forums cause a lot of trouble.

Also, if I have offended anyone or seemed rude, sorry, wasn't my intention.

[Tolley]

yeah i totally agree.. i haven't been a member that long but have seen some sarcastic comments and one or two arguments. Good Thread!

[markbob]

C'mon, sarcasm is one thing as long as it is corectly purveyed. Arguments are another thing all together. Its okay to give eachother a hard time once in a while, it helps keep the comradery light. The trick is knowing how to make it come across as good natured joshin' vice rudeness in type. If your not sure, don't type it. Smilies help a lot.

[crackatinny]

I have not really noticed any rude personal attacks lately.

But as has already been pointed out, with such a global forum, sometimes things can be misinterpreted, also there is a few myself included that will have a go at some members with tounge in cheek, (sarcasm) as Markbob has pointed out, to other members reading such posts, it may come across as rude, but usually with such sarcasm, if read between the lines, there is nothing meant by it.

[tropfish]

Well put crack,

when im beign sarcastic or making a joke i ususally use an emote or smiley (:wink2: or :ezpi_wink1: etc) to make sure people understand it was meant that way.

[gm72]

This is a great thread. I know at times I come across as being rude, and to be honest sometimes I mean to. There is only so much patience any of us can have for some things. There is usually a very long history though when I do let loose. Most of the time I will apologize to the user, but sometimes I won't. I believe all of us, at some point or another, needs to be put in his/her place, and sometimes publicly is the best way to do this so that other users understand what is really going on. Kuli, you know EXACTLY what I am talking about! (and we're great now as you know)

Here's a hypothetical example. We have had several of these over the last few months.
User X posts questions about subject #1 and receives consistent feedback that indicates that action A is indicated. The user chooses action B. When disaster strikes, the user continues to ask why there is a problem. BECAUSE THE USER DID NOT LISTEN. Other users become frustrated and express themselves "rudely."

Then the question becomes, what is the definition of being rude? Being frustrated because a user doesn't listen or fails to research something when directed?

A user asks the same question in 3 different ways and continues to debate with the people answering. Don't ask the question if you are not willing to listen and take the advice being given! At some point someone needs to step up and simply say "YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! We already told you (whatever, blah blah blah)."

That being said however, all of us have posted what could be perceived as "rudely" at one point or another. I can not think of a single user that has not done so. We are humans, and humans have emotions. Mistake or not, it will happen and will continue to happen. When it becomes a pattern? There's the problem, and I can't think of any of us that demonstrate a consistent enough pattern to be overly concerned.

EDIT: I just thought of another good example that we should be aware of. Let's say, for example, that Lady Hobbs...oh, I don't know...hurts herself doing tank maintenance. I respond to the thread "Nice job, Lady, NOT surprising!" Am I being rude or poking fun at a friend? The latter, folks, definitely the latter. However, to someone new? Looks rude all the way even though it most certainly is not.

[CAF]

Well said GM. One thing I would add however is, that while human, we need to strive to overcome our base emotions and try to approach the situation in a clam collected manner. Debating is a great way to work something through. That being said, those of you in positions of power (mods) have to be careful what you say and do, as it reflects the attitude of the entire forum and may drive away members. Those members are why we are here, they are why we spend so much time online talking to each and sharing our adventures in this hobby. Obviously I am not directing this at you, it is a generalization of why I am no longer on other forums, which I will not name, other than to hop on and post info about the Colorado Aquarium Society then hop right back off.

Thanks!:thumb:

[gm72]

That being said, those of you in positions of power (mods) have to be careful what you say and do, as it reflects the attitude of the entire forum and may drive away members.Thanks!:thumb:

Agreed completely.

[crackatinny]

As mods, we are in a bit of a catch 22 system there, to give a gentle warning on the forum, may come out as being rude, but it also reinforces to all members that we are not ignoring threads that we can see are stirring up the community.

[gm72]

...and in comes another good point!

I will make an analogy to being a mod on this forum with what I do for a living.

I am in charge of Corporate Compliance/Quality Improvement in a rehab company with over 300 employees. Sometimes it takes public action to make a point.

Example: Therapist X consistently fails to complete his/her documentation in a timely manner, and other therapists in that region are aware. Behind the scenes, the therapist is coached and given multiple warnings. Eventually I will fire the therapist and will broadcast the reason why to the rest of the employees in the region: "Therapist X effective today is no longer with us due to non-compliance with documentation timeliness. I do not expect to have this problem repeat in this region."

[Nautilus291]

GM I know your talking about me you dont have to use an X.:ezpi_wink1:

[crackatinny]

LOL, I love the way GM explains things through theropy, but I can see where you are comming from, I have had various jobs as foreman or leading hand, and found counseling problems privately did not always work, if an employee continued to disrupt, bludge, or whatever the prob was, other employees would say, hey how come he's getting away with it, if he can I can, and the problem would escalate, sometimes it was required in front of the workforce, to say, hey mate, pull ya finger out, or whatever was required, I got more results from the offenders, and more respect from there fellow workers, by doing it that way sometimes

[TowBoater]

Good post people and yes GM, we got off to a wrong start but I was just coming from a board were they thought everything I posted was wrong and they were mean about it but im glad we are friends now. Sarcasm to a point is ok but it can get out of hand and I have done it many times. Picking on people is ok to to an extent as well. What really gets to people is bad communication in the communication process, word meaning. In different areas and different personalities words can have different meaning as in some call a soda pop which to me is a noise, not a beverage.

[digital3]

First off, sorry if I ever came across as rude to anyone. Though I haven't been here long, you never know...

Um, this is awesome. There are so many people here (especially those who have very influential statuses on this forum) who truly care about the whole "vibe" of the forum enough to ensure that it's members are treated fairly and with respect. I just can't express enough what a great site this is.

It's true we all come from different parts of this planet and that from time to time a little spat or two will arise. But I would say that for every misunderstanding or bad comment one might receive, there are probably twice or three times as many positives that one can experience on a daily basis here. From encouraging comments, helpful advice, giving gifts and making us feel like a part of the group. Especially those who haven't been here long.

And while there is playful banter between some of the "Seniors/Moderators" that might be misconstrued, you can totally tell that that's all it is (playful banter). IMHO I think that's what adds to the charm of this site. Some of you guys act as if you've been friends/pals/mates for years, yet I can see that you've only been on this forum within the past year or so.

It's just nice to see that type of commitment from everyone. Especially, those who have been here for a while and who we all look up to. Though it's always a good idea to review your words before you post, don't walk on pins and needles either OK...

You guys/gals rock! :c5:

[crackatinny]

Well put Digital, and this forum was just the same when I joined, i had been a member of others, where people really were rude, or would just ignore newbies, then I popped in here to ask just a couple of questions, and I'm here to stay.

As for us mods joining in the banter and having a joke with people, we really enjoy it, we are regular members 1st and formost, but every forum needs mods, and becoming mods gave us a chance to do something for all you guys/gals who make this such a great place.